Bloodhound Gang Lyrics

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Bloodhound Gang Lyrics

I Wish I Was Queer So I Could Get Chicks

If your ass is a Chinese restaurant I'll have the poo-poo platter
My friend Jerry Vandergrift kissed me in Home Ec. class
Later in the afternoon some jarheads in the locker room kicked my ass
I said guys I'm like you I like Monster Trucks too
Wanna see how many push-ups I can do?
I just wish I was queer so I could get chicks

Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks that don't dig guys like me
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly

But if I were handsome just imagine how great it would be
Incognito as gay though but not actually that way though pseudo homo phony
Maybe it's a stupid theory or maybe just stupidity
But if I was a queerbee in the fashion industry
Scoring with a super model would be easy
Cause 'super model' means voluptuous but is also is synonomous with 'super dumb'
Ya see I'd be a good listener so she'd treat me like a sister and soon I'd become
That trusted friend that cares that rubs her back and braids her hair
No it wouldn't be a week before I'm in her underwear
I wish I was queer so I could get chicks

Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks that don't dig guys like me
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly

Doesn't matter what I'm packin' in my denim it's what's in my genes
The only smoked meat the only sausage I would eat is made by Jimmy Dean
See I'm not to keen on the smell of Vaseline
No I'm not Princess Di and I don't wanna be a queen
I wish I was queer so I could get chicks

Anyway if I were gay I'd have to change my name to Dirk or Lewis
Hang out with my mom's hair stylist his name is Kip he's got a lisp he talks like this
And wear my mother's lingerie learn the songs of Broadway
And appreciate Depeche Mode and avant garde ballet
I wish I was queer so I could get chicks

Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks that don't dig guys like me
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly
And I don't shave my heiny
Don't shave my heiny
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly

More Bloodhound Gang Lyrics

A Lap Dance Is So Much Better When The Stripper is
I was lonelier than Kunta Kinte at a Merle Haggard concert that

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A Lap Dance Is So Much Better When The Stripper Is Crying
I was lonelier than kunta kinte at a merle haggard concert

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Along Comes Mary
Every time I think that I'm the only one who's lonely

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Asleep At The Wheel
Bloodhounds shall cruise rendezvous Break curfew new trip ensues You

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B.H.G.P.S.A.
The following Public Service Announcement is brought you by an intoxicated

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Boom
Yo Bloodhound Gang and Rob Van Winkle together on this track

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Cheese Tidbit
Hello. Yes. We at world famouse Cheese Factory Records would like to

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Convoy
I'm royalty throwin' down, so turn up the percussion Let me

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Coo Coo Ca Choo
Fire Water Burn
Go Down
Going Nowhere Slow
Hell Yeah
I Hope You Die
I Wish I Was Queer So I Could Get Chicks
Jackass
Kids In America
K.I.D.S. Incorporated
Kiss Me Where It Smells Funny
Legend In My Spare Time
Lift Your Head Up High
Lift Your Head Up High ( And Blow Your Brains Out)
Lift Your Head Up High (And Blow Your Brains Out)
Live At The Apollo
Magna Cum Nada
Mama Say
Mope
Nightmare At The Apollo
No Rest For The Wicked
Nowhere Slow
One Way
Pickles and Fudge
Rang Dang
Right Turn Clyde
Right Turn Klyde
Rip Taylor Is God
RSVP
Shitty Record Offer
Should Have Been There
Shut Up
Take The Long Way Home
The 10 Coolest Things About New Jersey
The Bad Touch
The Ballad Of Chasey Lain
The Inevitable Return of the Great White Dope
Three Point One Four
Turn Clyde
We Are The Knuckleheads
Yellow Fever
Your Only Friends Are Make Believe
Yummy Down On This
Aint Nothing But Mammals
why is everybody always pickin on me?
A Lap Dance is So Much Better
Yummie Down on This
A Lap Dance is So Much Better when the Stripper is Cryin
David Song
The Vagina Song
We Are The Knuckleheads (Banned Version)
The Roof Is On Fire
You Are Pretty when Im Drunk
Your Only Friends Are Make You Believe
Youre Pretty when I Am Drunk
Reflections of Remoh

Bloodhound Gang Discography

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